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But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.

So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.

So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.

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That said, I know people who had HUGE distances between them and survived that and ended up committed and together.Remember, the ultimate goal is to meet the love of your life.Question from Lorraine from Philly: How can I date younger men without being labeled a "cougar." PS: I'm not going to label you a cougar!I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.

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