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You need to be personally secure different post which you can read here.

There are people reading this blog who want to understand commitment in the wider sense.

Being emotionally demanding because you have unrealistic ideas about what the relationship should be and what they should be being, doing, and saying, and how you think you should feel, is just bloody exhausting. As someone who has had her fair share of drama and created much, I had to give myself a kick up the bum early in my relationship with the boyf because I was catering to my old pattern.

Drama is only attractive to people who have no intentions of being committed with you Other people will tolerate it to a degree but if all you want to do is argue, accuse them of cheating, question the relationship etc, there will come a point where when they envision they future and they correlate you and the current relationship into it, they will just see more of the same and not want to commit to that.

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One of the biggest sources of angst from readers is the whole question of starting over, dating again, trusting again, and ultimately knowing if they’re ready for a relationship/to start dating again.People who avoid doing the emotional work are often willing to date a few people at a time, or have someone in reserve somewhere in case the current one doesn’t work out. It’s like people can’t hack being single – they have to be dating or at the very least sleeping with someone. In olden times, casual sex was just sex – now it’s often the fringe benefits of a relationship without the relationship.A lot of us are selling ourselves short and not stretching ourselves and getting uncomfortable. the majority of the way, that you are 1) over your ex or even ex’s and 2) you are emotionally available and 3) you are actively working on yourself, after all, we’re a work in progress.But overall, remember: for and don’t put off being the best that you can be in the relationship to some arbitrary point where you think you’ll be X, Y, Z in the future based on a whole load of if’s, but’s and maybe’s.Likewise don’t determine that you can become more secure based on them being or doing certain things.

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